Guilty Mommy

I am scheduled to go on a 10 day business trip that I tried for 2 months to get out of the last 6 days, which happens to be a trip to Tahiti. I know, it sounds nuts, who would turn down a trip to Tahiti? Well, in my job I will get to go to Tahiti soon anyways, and this time to put 2 trips back to back together seemed excessive. I will have to fly from Florida to NY and then possibly change airports and get on a 12 hour flight to Papeete. I justified not wanting to go because I would miss 2 soccer tournaments and that my family just can't live without me for such a long stretch.

Of course that is not true. They can live just fine without me. One less portion of dinner to prepare every night will leave more leftovers for them (and thus less cooking for the husband) and my son's allowance will never get docked because it will be a long day in the arctic without a coat before Marc ever looks in Max's room and declares that it is messy enough to be subject to the $3 per day fine that I impose when he doesn't clean up. So, less cooking, more money in their pockets and they can watch boxing and football whenever they want without my constant and incessant complaining and groaning.

However the real reason I didn't want to go is much more selfish and childish. The fact is that there is an awards dinner during that time that I want to go to and I am very upset that I am not getting the recognition that I deserve for my work on the winning piece. In fact, when we heard that we won the award I was initially left off of the invitation list for the event. It was so insulting that I considered walking out and never returning to that rat hole again. But of course I didn't. But I didn't sleep all weekend I was so angry and hurt. I left a strong message for the boss, and I got a call shortly thereafter (from his secretary) that it was a mistake and I was invited. He blamed his boss. What a coward. But never did I get one word of congratulations for the project that I spearheaded and conceived. And it was the first ever creative award for my company. Ever. In over 30 years. Ever. And who got the credit? The woman who submitted the application. She pulled up the website and gathered the scans. When she got stuck at the part where you have to write about the piece, she called me over to complete the application, which I wrote. I don't blame her for being proud, she should, but so should the people who did the work.

So there. I have now gotten this out in public. It doesn't make me feel any better, and it makes me feel a little scared that someone from my office is secretly reading my blog. But it does make me feel more honest about my motivations. So I guess my prize is a trip to Tahiti with a bunch of strangers. Imagine going to the most romantic group of islands in the universe with a bunch of old men who think that farting sounds are funny. That's my prize. I am so proud.