Saturday, October 13, 2007

Why I hate my loft bed

1. Ruined sleep because you wake up weighing the pros and cons of going to the bathroom, answering the phone, feeding the whining cats, responding to a crying baby etc. After an hour of considering, if you are still awake, then you wake up more when you climb down to attend to the task at hand.

2. Limited sexual positions when the ceiling is 3 feet above.

3. Changing the sheets requires a specific blend of acrobatic skills and flexibility. On the plus side, the days of sheet changing mean you don't have to go to the gym.

4. When things fall off you never find them again, and if you do they are broken.

5. A glass of water at the bedside has a 10% chance of still standing by morning.

6. You cannot get the vacuum up there easily. The dustbuster just doesn't have the oomph. Therefore, it is a safe haven for dust.

7. When someone is walking on the roof it sounds like they are about to come crashing into bed with you. It is like Gulliver in the land of the Liliputians.

8. Splinters.

9. There is only one way out and one way in.

10. You can't sit on the edge of your bed and ponder your outfit for the day.

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